Adjusting Your Life Podcast Ep 115: Stress Isn’t the Enemy: It’s the Signal
Stress is not an adversary but rather a crucial signal that warrants our attention. In this discourse, we delve into the multifaceted nature of stress, investigating whether it serves as a friend or foe in our daily lives. We will uncover the often-hidden patterns of stress that permeate our routines and the detrimental expectations we impose upon ourselves, which can exacerbate our feelings of overwhelm. Furthermore, we shall explore practical methodologies for breaking the cyclical nature of stress responses, empowering us to reset our perceptions and reactions.
Ultimately, this episode aims to illuminate the path toward a healthier relationship with stress, transforming it from a source of anxiety into a catalyst for personal growth and self-awareness. The podcast episode delves into the complex nature of stress, recontextualizing it as not merely an adversary, but as an important signal indicating when adjustments are necessary in our lives. The discussion begins with a nuanced exploration of stress, distinguishing between 'eustress'—the beneficial kind that motivates action—and 'distress', which can become overwhelming.
The hosts, Dr. Steve and Kennedi, emphasize the importance of recognizing the distinctions between these two types of stress. They argue that many individuals experience an excess of distress due to unrealistic expectations imposed by societal norms, such as work obligations and familial responsibilities. This segment sets the stage for self-reflection regarding individual stress responses and the need for proactive management.
Takeaways:
- Stress is not inherently detrimental; it may serve as a signal prompting necessary change in our lives.
- Understanding the distinction between eustress and distress is crucial for managing stress effectively.
- We can cultivate healthier responses to stress by identifying when we are overwhelmed and actively seeking support.
- Clear communication about feelings of stress and overwhelm can significantly improve personal relationships and overall well-being.
- Shifting our mindset towards stress can help us recognize that it is an opportunity for growth rather than merely a burden.
- Establishing reasonable expectations for ourselves and others can mitigate harmful stress and foster a healthier environment.
Transcript
This program is for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only.
Speaker A:The information provided in this podcast reflects the opinions and experiences of the hosts and is not medical or mental health advice.
Speaker A:Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any questions about your health or well being.
Speaker A:If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, contact your local emergency services to learn to be a clear communicator throughout your process.
Speaker A:Not wait till you're overwhelmed in stress.
Speaker A:Get good early on in your life of expressing when you're overwhelmed or overloaded.
Speaker A:Well, we're programmed in life to take on unreasonable expectations because we're programmed to seek outside approval from people for the wife that's overwhelmed and, you know, to express it in a way.
Speaker A:You know, I'm not trying to stress you out.
Speaker A:I'm not trying to get you to feel as if it's your responsibility to fix this issue, but this is what I'm feeling.
Speaker B:Welcome back to the Adjusting youg Like podcast.
Speaker B:I'm Kennedy and I'm here with Dr. Steve.
Speaker B:This is episode 115, stress isn't the Enemy, it's the Signal.
Speaker B:And this is the final episode of season one.
Speaker B:Dr. Steve, can you believe we made it?
Speaker A:I can believe it.
Speaker A:It's been a lot of work, but we're all committed to getting this message out and so it's exciting to see it come to the end of the first season.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And I'm excited about the future seasons to come.
Speaker B:Yes, me too.
Speaker B:Me too.
Speaker B:For sure.
Speaker A:This episode of the Adjusting youg Life.
Speaker B:Podcast is brought to you by Ward Chiropractic.
Speaker B:Dr. Steve finds what most doctors miss.
Speaker A:And his wall adjustment technique, it can bring fast relief.
Speaker A:Check out chiroman.com for hours, location and.
Speaker B:To contact the clinic.
Speaker B:That's Chiroman.
Speaker A:C H I R o m a.
Speaker B:N.Com so let's dive in to stress.
Speaker B:So what is stress?
Speaker B:How would you define stress?
Speaker A:Well, stress is either mental, emotional, or physical.
Speaker A:And our work really has been studying the effect of stress on the spine since the early 60s.
Speaker A:My dad even started by naming his technology Spinal Column Stressology, which was the study of stress and how it impacts our spine.
Speaker A:So when we're looking at stress, we can see that stress isn't always bad.
Speaker A:There's healthy stress, which is called eustress, and then there's unhealthy stress, which is called distress.
Speaker A:And what we want to help people to understand is when you're feeling stress, there are options that you can incorporate into your life to reduce the stress that you're experiencing in your life.
Speaker A:And by learning to shift our behavior, what we end up doing is we end up really changing our health by changing our mind and body.
Speaker B:So what are some of those things that people can do to identify whether their stress is helpful or hurtful?
Speaker A:Well, most people are dealing with stressors that are more harmful.
Speaker A:Unreasonable expectations, work stress, being a mother and having to take care of your kids after working all day.
Speaker A:There's just so many people that have more stress on their plate than they really can handle.
Speaker A:So what happens is the body begins to deteriorate because the stress is too much.
Speaker A:I mean, it's kind of like expectation.
Speaker A:If nothing you do is ever good enough, what's the purpose of ever giving your best to what you do?
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:So when you give your best to what you do, as we're teaching in our podcast, always learn to circle back, close the loop, and validate your own greatness instead of wandering out in a world of wounded people that maybe haven't even learned to self master these attributes.
Speaker B:So I think when people think about stress, I don't necessarily think that maybe they attach stress to like, expectation.
Speaker B:Why don't we expand on that?
Speaker B:We've talked about it on other episodes about there being unrealistic expectations on yourself or even on your family.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Well, we're programmed in life to take on unreasonable expectations because we're programmed to seek outside approval from people and we're not programmed to ask the question, am I looking for outside approval from a person who's mad mastered self approval?
Speaker A:So that's how we should begin to look at it.
Speaker A:Because if we're journeying out into the world and we're in confusion by how we were programmed to believe that the only reason we're not getting what we need is because we're not enough.
Speaker A:We are inadequate.
Speaker A:And no matter what we're doing, it's not actually enough.
Speaker A:As we shift out of that mechanism in our brain, we're going to find so much more joy in our life.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So something that I hear people say is, I'm stressed out.
Speaker B:And I find that people say that more often than saying, I'm overwhelmed, I need help.
Speaker B:Why do you think people are able to say I'm stressed out or you're stressing me out, but aren't able to articulate, you know, like a vulnerability.
Speaker A:Yes, it's very easy for people to voice when they're overloaded, but depending upon their behavior in them, it's not like they're voicing a vulnerability.
Speaker A:They're saying they'll handle it, they'll carry it.
Speaker A:As I feel, even with myself, there are times I feel overwhelmed and overloaded.
Speaker A:And just by expressing that, it eases, eases the stress that I'm feeling.
Speaker A:So I think that we all need to reframe our brain and we need to refocus in a way that allows us to really see who we are, what we are, and what we've already done.
Speaker A:Like, I can look at my life, I can see all the amazing things I've done.
Speaker A:I've done a lot of amazing things.
Speaker A:I'm certainly open to doing a lot more amazing things, but I don't want to disconnect from the amazing things that I have done.
Speaker A:It's not a competition.
Speaker A:It's just an ongoing journey of how we can evolve in a healthier way in our life by having healthy expectations, by realizing when we're overwhelmed or overloaded.
Speaker A:If you're not good at asking someone for help, get good at it.
Speaker A:You will find great benefit.
Speaker A:When you get more accustomed to letting people around you know that you feel overwhelmed, then you'll handle it.
Speaker A:So I think it's really important for us all to understand that we make choices.
Speaker A:And are we making choices from our own eyes that love us, validate us, encourage us, approve of us, or our choices being made by our inheritance and our programming and how the people before us have been programmed and is our journey to stay asleep in a program or to wake up in a new program?
Speaker A:And that's what this podcast is about, helping people to understand that just because you've been in a program your whole life does not mean you have to stay in that same program.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And you can, I mean, start changing.
Speaker A:Things today, in this moment, you know, we can make little edits and, and we can really choose to watch our words.
Speaker A:So even in choosing words, if I say, oh, I'm so stressed out, well, then what I'm sending the message to the brain is to have evidence to support my complaint.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And so you know where I'll say, wow, I'm so excited about this opportunity that's coming my way.
Speaker A:I'm gonna stay neutral with it and neutral in my expectations.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:I'm gonna show up and give my best, best energy to it and then we're gonna see where it, where it goes.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And that doesn't always have to be pre planned.
Speaker A:Like you and I don't do well at all planning.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:You know?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And you and I are not great at like sitting down and going through questions and knowing what we're going to talk about we're better at sitting in the chair and you ask me a question and I answer it.
Speaker B:I think the other way might be more stressful.
Speaker A:Well, it's more stressful for me.
Speaker A:I'm thankful that we have a free flowing situation here that's not a high stress environment and we're not coming in with unreasonable expectations on what we're doing and we realize that we're in the infancy of what we're doing but we can really be proud of it because not only have we worked these many weeks to get this process going, but we spent so many weeks prior to this just having the plan to get this going.
Speaker A:So it's been a beautiful blessing for me to see because I've never in my life experienced something like this.
Speaker A:This.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Me, me too.
Speaker B:So in talking about relationships, let's talk about a marriage where you have a wife that is, is stressed out and communicates that to her husband.
Speaker B:You know, I think in that situation sometimes that can go sideways.
Speaker B:Just even that statement alone and maybe leading up to the point where she expresses that she's stressed out, there would have been moments in that, you know, the proceed, you know, or the weeks previous where she might have been able to express being overwhelmed or needing a break or those types of things.
Speaker B:And in this case that's not what happened.
Speaker B:And then her husband wants to try to save her, fix her, that type of thing.
Speaker B:Because I feel like that happens.
Speaker B:And then there's this clash between two people.
Speaker B:Maybe we can talk about from her point of view and then also maybe from his point of view how that could, that situation could be avoided.
Speaker A:Well, from her point of view it's important to learn to be a clear communicator throughout your process.
Speaker A:Not wait till you're overwhelmed and stress get good early on in your life of expressing when you're overwhelmed or overloaded.
Speaker A:So many people are not good at that.
Speaker A:They're better at denying their overwhelm and then they get overwhelmed and then their body starts breaking down and their energy is not there and all of a sudden they're short with their temper, they're passive aggressive, they're reactive.
Speaker A:And so it all starts with hey, my tendency is to overdo and I'm going to really work hard to not be that person that thinks that the value is specifically relative to what I do in my life.
Speaker A:And because so many people are overwhelmed because the basic expectation of them is to.
Speaker A:It's unreasonable.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So if we, if we're able to help people to Understand that it's important for us all to be reasonable with our expectations, reasonable in our relationship.
Speaker A:So for the wife that's overwhelmed and, you know, to express it in a way, you know, I'm not trying to stress you out.
Speaker A:I'm not trying to get you to feel as if it's your responsibility to fix this issue, but this is what I'm feeling.
Speaker A:And then the partner can come in and say, well, we don't have to have unreasonable expectations.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:We could just give our best, have some parameters in place that says, I'm not going to exhaust my system, I'm not going to get ill.
Speaker A:I'm not going to try to be enough for the wounded people on the planet that no matter how hard I try, I'm never enough.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So we can go into our communication with a different view and being able to be able to communicate well, this is what I do when I'm overdoing and over pushing.
Speaker A:This is me and my masculine.
Speaker A:Well.
Speaker A:And then the partner comes in and says, well, I know you're amazing at that, but where you're really needing to work is in the vulnerable end of that equation.
Speaker A:And so I'm going to encourage you to have reasonable expectations.
Speaker A:I'm going to encourage you to save energy in everything you do.
Speaker A:I'm going to encourage you to operate efficiently, I'm going to encourage you to have a healthy expectation, and I'm going to encourage you to acknowledge all the amazing things you're already doing instead of the list of things you feel have not been done.
Speaker A:Recognize what has been done.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And from a male point of view of that, you know, when it's a right curve male, the right curve male, it's was grew up in a dynamic of thinking that they need to fix whatever problem was occurring in the female around them.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:And so a lot of men get triggered because they don't know what to do to fix something.
Speaker A:And sometimes that's just, hey, I, you know, I want to run to the garage or I want to go watch that game.
Speaker A:But what I'm hearing you say is that you need some help.
Speaker A:And so instead of me going and disconnecting and watching the game, why don't I assist you in some things that, you know, you feel overwhelmed by.
Speaker A:And maybe the two of us can get through this process a little differently.
Speaker A:So at the end of the week, we're not, we're not so exhausted.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:And so listen, relationships is always a challenge because we are so often dealing with different patterns of behavior.
Speaker A:And so often the behaviors are even opposite.
Speaker A:So, so it's like, what can I learn from my partner?
Speaker A:And what, so if my partner is easier going and I'm more intense, then what can I learn from my partner?
Speaker A:I can learn to become more easygoing and less intense.
Speaker A:Right, right.
Speaker B:So, so what about, what if a man's lefting curve?
Speaker A:Well, left curve men are interesting.
Speaker A:I don't see as many of them.
Speaker A:I know there's a lot out there because there's a lot of men out there on the planet that really do need father approval.
Speaker A:And so, you know, I've seen like children, men that were a child of alcoholic father.
Speaker A:I see a lot of times in left curvature where the alcoholic father drank and was verbal.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because the action of a left curve man is more dominant, more logical, more controlling.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And again, that left curve man, he's calmly in that pattern of letting his mental mind dictate his physical body.
Speaker A:So he's very self driven, he's very hard on self, he's hypercritical, he's accustomed to over pushing.
Speaker A:But it's just so many factors.
Speaker A:We can look at the spine and can give us so much insight on what's really going on with the person and what's going on within their challenge and how we can help them to see the challenge from a different angle.
Speaker A:That's always the key is can we look at something from a different way?
Speaker B:So with the left curve man, who are they most likely to attract as far as a woman?
Speaker A:Well, you know, so often they.
Speaker A:What works commonly best is more of a right curve woman, more of a sensitive woman.
Speaker A:What does not work with a left curve man is a left curve woman.
Speaker A:Because if you have a very dominant left curve woman and then you have a very dominant left curve man, then it's going to be such a control mechanism that's playing out between the two of them.
Speaker A:That's why we calmly don't see it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:It's like when you see a dominant someone who has to be the dominant.
Speaker A:Well then what are you seeing?
Speaker A:That they're attracting someone that's more comfortable being passive.
Speaker B:Right, Right, right, right.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Or the dominant will, you know, empower their view on something.
Speaker B:Sure.
Speaker A:But the person who's more in the compression of the cord, they're going to be the person that it's accustomed to, someone dominating that.
Speaker B:So compression of cord meaning like they're if they're five, six, they're, they're not shorter?
Speaker A:No, it just means that the force when you measure the we measure from the base of the skull to the sacrum or basis, the spine.
Speaker A:And we're measuring along the back of each vertebra and we want to see what that measurement is.
Speaker A:And then we get a height of the person.
Speaker A:And based on their height, they should have a certain spinal length.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And when the spinal length is less than what it should be, it's a cord compression.
Speaker A:And when the spinal length is more than what it should be, it's overstretched spinal cord.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And so to me, those are big factors because the people that are high achievers and high dominant, so often they'll be overstretched on the spinal cord and their tendency is to dominate and they are less open to other people's views.
Speaker A:We can see it with people in that realm, how they can lose emotional intelligence, how they can react emotionally very quickly, those type things.
Speaker A:But listen, it's just good to know because people have been attracting other people in their life for a long time.
Speaker A:Relationships have been going on from the beginning of time.
Speaker A:And how have the relationships that occurred before you impacted you and now are you going to stay impacted by those wounded relationships or you're going to embark on a different journey?
Speaker A:One that allows you to recognize how you're growing differently and changing internally and how excited you are to be your own person, not just a person who sees your life through someone else's program.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That was amazing.
Speaker B:We'll be right back.
Speaker B:Welcome back.
Speaker B:We're going to talk about the hidden patterns of daily stress.
Speaker B:And I have a quick story.
Speaker B:So I want to say my niece was six, seven or eight maybe, and there was one of those stress balls on my counter and she had picked it up and she said to me, you know, auntie Ken, what is this?
Speaker B:And I said, it's a stress ball.
Speaker B:And she says to me, what's stressful?
Speaker B:And I was in that moment thinking to myself, wow, like, of course, like a child, a child doesn't.
Speaker B:You don't know what that is.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And it just, I don't know, I've.
Speaker B:It stuck with me because it was.
Speaker B:It's like, so do we learn stress?
Speaker B:Are we taught stress?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so I want to talk about, you know, the patterns that we have as, as parents and how they can impact our children.
Speaker B:Like at some point they learn from us and begin to have those showing signs of stress.
Speaker B:So as parents, what are things that we could do to help so our children don't absorb those patterns of stress?
Speaker A:Well, I think it's important for parents to express stress to their kids.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Instead of not express stress.
Speaker A:So when they're overwhelmed, I think it's better for a parent to say I feel overwhelmed than to deny it and act like they're not stressed.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so, because if a family dynamic is conscious of what's going on with each person, it's way better.
Speaker A:It's when people aren't communicating and they feel, feel as if it's all falling on them and the only way something's going to get done is if they do it.
Speaker A:And so what I think parents can do is they can express to their children, oh, well, you know, it's stressful that, you know, I'm having to work so hard like say a single mother.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:So she's dealing with her kids.
Speaker A:Maybe the other parent's not as present and maybe that parent comes in once in a while, takes them on a trip to Disneyland or something.
Speaker A:And so so often the kids can have challenges with the mother who's present with them in the day to day.
Speaker A:And they can be more harsh on that parent that's actually present and not harsh at all on the parent who isn't present.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And I see this all the time.
Speaker A:And because a child will say, well, you know, I can say what I want to my mom because she, I know it's gonna be here no matter what, but if I say what I really want to say to my dad, I may not have anything at all with him at all.
Speaker B:Like it's a risk.
Speaker A:There's a risk in that.
Speaker A:So often the child can project anger they feel towards the other parent onto the parent that's actually present with them in the day to day process.
Speaker A:But it all goes back to being a family that can communicate clearly.
Speaker A:And when we communicate clearly, there's no wrong answers.
Speaker A:You know, we're just communicating.
Speaker A:You don't have to be right, you don't have to be wrong.
Speaker A:You don't have to make someone else wrong and someone else right.
Speaker A:You know, just, we are a family that's open to communicate.
Speaker A:And when things are impact, if one person in the family's being impacted, then that has an impact on the entire family.
Speaker A:And you know, we can take our family dynamic and make it a really healthy one and, or we can have a family dynamic be really unhealthy where it's following on one person and that person's gonna break down.
Speaker A:And I see it all the time.
Speaker A:I'll have these moms come in and they have three kids or whatever and they're working and they Have a husband and, you know, husband works.
Speaker A:And now the mom's breaking down, she's breaking down.
Speaker A:The husband's freaking out because he's like, oh my gosh, I cannot handle one day.
Speaker A:It's to what you do.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And so often we look at what a mother does, like in being a mother to a child, and we, we, we look at it like it's not that big of a deal.
Speaker A:But in truth, when, when the roles are reversed and you're being asked to take on that role, you realize how demanding and challenging it is.
Speaker A:So it helps us all to understand that we have a family dynamic and there is a role within that family, and everyone has a role, and they should be that in this family, we can always communicate with what's going on.
Speaker A:And even when it's a tough communication, you're going to be loved no matter what you're needing to express.
Speaker A:And just work to make a family dynamic that can communicate easier with each other.
Speaker A:Because the people closest to us are really where we need our support.
Speaker A:So often, but so often we go to the people closest to us and they can be our anchor, not a life preserver.
Speaker A:And so, but all that can change.
Speaker A:We can have healthy dynamics.
Speaker A:People can be aware.
Speaker A:They can look at what someone's doing.
Speaker A:They can see when someone's taking on lots of action.
Speaker A:They can see if they're, if they're supporting that or they're helping with that process, or they okay with someone else doing it all.
Speaker A:Because if you're okay with someone doing it all, when that edits, when that changes, what are you going to do in your life?
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So, because it's not always going to be someone's going to take care of you.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:So like my mom taught me, that's how you wash your clothes, son.
Speaker A:This is how you do the dishes.
Speaker A:This how you make a hot baloney sandwich, you know, and so I grew up, you know, having some awareness that those are the things that I kind of do to help reduce the load someone else could burden.
Speaker B:So do you think that when couples are like, in the dating phase and, you know, maybe prior to the marriage, they aren't.
Speaker B:They maybe don't have that conversation about expectation as far as, like, you know, when they have children, whose responsibility is.
Speaker B:What is that?
Speaker A:Yeah, I think it's really important before you have children to have conversation on responsibility because it's, it's so easy to fall into how we were influenced and, and learn from that person, like what we should do.
Speaker A:But that doesn't necessarily mean that's the best thing for our health and our life.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So if you saw your mom do everything, you might think your wife's going to do everything.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And then you might.
Speaker A:If your mom did everything and then your mom also set high standards and then you, she didn't know how to validate you and you got negated, and now you're taking that dysfunction and you're putting it on your wife.
Speaker A:And no matter she.
Speaker A:She's doing all this stuff, but you can't acknowledge her because you have this disconnect and the validation you didn't receive.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So it's just that we all need to realize that this is a new game.
Speaker A:And the new game is starting with awareness and emotional intelligence.
Speaker A:And it's given us the clarity that when we do operate with strong emotional skills, how we have a greater life.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like, I could have a. I could attain a lot and I could have a program that set me up to be successful because I attained a lot.
Speaker A:But then at the end of the day, I could still feel as though if I'm not adequate.
Speaker A:And so our journey is to learn to help people early on in life to feel adequate and not to become adults that feel inadequate.
Speaker A:You know, it shouldn't be children who feel inadequate.
Speaker A:It shouldn't be parents who feel inadequate and everyone in between.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So, because that's the thing about inadequacy.
Speaker A:We're all impacted by it, and we're all impacted by generational inadequacy.
Speaker A:And we're either going to be asleep in that program and nothing will ever be enough, or we're going to rewrite that program and build on the greatness of our life and see all the amazingly great things we've done in our life.
Speaker A:And I think that's the way to live.
Speaker A:I think it's better to give your best intention at something, celebrate it.
Speaker A:Give your best towards something, celebrate it.
Speaker A:Be in that process so that you can do it differently than how others have done it.
Speaker A:And I think I see it in my clinic every day.
Speaker A:I see people that when they get it, you know, I trigger something in them and they actually see it, and then how their life can't be the same any longer.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So from that moment forward, they are seeing it from a different set of eyes.
Speaker A:And that's really what our.
Speaker A:Our job is.
Speaker A:It's to help people grow into the great humans that they were always entitled to be.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So there was something in.
Speaker B:As I.
Speaker B:You were talking, I was Thinking about this, in previous relationships, I would find myself, I was having a hard time, like in like the daily stresses of things going on when something would happen.
Speaker B:So, for example, someone would say, you know, I'll, I'll be there at 5 or something.
Speaker B:And it could be like my boyfriend, for example, and, and then he didn't arrive at 5.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then arrived maybe at 7 or 8.
Speaker B:And actually there's this one instance where I was moving and I thought someone was coming a lot earlier.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And when he finally came, what I wanted him to say was, you know, you know, I know I said I was going to be here at such and such time, you know, I'm sorry, you know, I know this put you in a spot, you know, and basically what I call it is acknowledge, empathize, acknowledge, empathize.
Speaker B:And, and instead what, what he said was, you know, I'm here now.
Speaker B:What's the problem?
Speaker B:Which is, which would trigger me.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so, but as I also, like with my daughter, I would find myself when she would respond in a way where if I said, you know, I asked her to do something and, and she said she would, and then it didn't get done.
Speaker B:And, and then, you know, maybe instead of saying, I know, I said I would do it.
Speaker B:I know it's important to you that I do what I say I'm going to do because you do what you say you're going to do, you know, and I'll, you know, I'll work on that not happening again.
Speaker B:You know, I would hear, you know, whatever excuse it was, and then I would find myself trying to tell her what I'd like her to say.
Speaker B:And I have kind of a habit of actually doing that in like, being like, well, why can't you say this?
Speaker B:And so sometimes you, sometimes you need.
Speaker A:To show someone what to say because they don't necessarily know.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And your first example, you talked about, you know, a personal relationship who would commit to a time, and then would it make that time?
Speaker A:And what you need to understand is people, as a rule, want outside approval.
Speaker A:So when we're expressing something to someone, so often they will say what you want to want to hear.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:That doesn't mean what they're going to do.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So just because you say, hey, you know, the movers come in at this time, I'd like you to be here before.
Speaker A:And they say, oh, yeah, I'll be there, I'll be there.
Speaker A:No problem, no worries, don't even worry about it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Well, again, the basic process is Playing out there is they want approval and what they don't want is criticism.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And so what they're saying is they definitely want to do what you want them to do.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:But it's not like they're necessarily committed to do that.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And see, for me, I'm committed when I say.
Speaker B:But I think that's also probably a part.
Speaker B:There's a spinal measurement that probably correlates to my commitment to, to actually doing what I, what I say I'm going to do.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:You know, and in that, in those situations.
Speaker B:So we've talked about questions, but you're.
Speaker A:Not like a alcoholic, right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And so you're not being impacted by some drug or alcohol.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because like in a certain dynamic, you know, there was this rude abandonment wound of what was withheld from a person.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:And so then what are they left with?
Speaker A:Well, this program of needing outside approval.
Speaker A:And so what, when they hear like.
Speaker B:Over commitment so they would over commit.
Speaker A:They over commit, but that doesn't mean they're going to do it at all.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:So that's where clarification needs to take place.
Speaker B:Yes, let's talk about, because.
Speaker B:Yes, let's talk about clarification because we've, we've talked about follow up questions like, so someone says they're gonna.
Speaker B:Yes, I'll be there.
Speaker B:So is there, is there any reason that you can think of today that you, you won't be here at that time?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Because let's talk about that now.
Speaker A:Well, and it's all in how you come about it.
Speaker A:You know, it's like, you know, I've been in other relationships before you, where a person would commit to me on a time.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And then they wouldn't show up and then that would create all this internal stress for me.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:And so I just need to kind of understand who you are and what you're choosing to be.
Speaker A:In this relationship with me, are you a person that when you commit to something to me, you are going to follow through on that no matter what?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Or are you a person that commits to me because you want short term validation from me?
Speaker B:That's amazing.
Speaker B:That is amazing.
Speaker B:I love that dialogue.
Speaker B:I think that that is going to help so many people because it's providing a clarification and preventing like a future, you know, potentially a future, you know, challenge or, you know, some type of friction that could occur.
Speaker B:Just, it's really clarifying.
Speaker B:It's letting someone rethink, I think too, like the commitment that they're making.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Don't make a quick commitment without really considering what you're doing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Because your commitment to me is not just a word.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's a belief that you're going to follow through on what you're committing to do.
Speaker A:If I find that you are a person that never follows through on what you're.
Speaker A:What you say you're going to do, that's going to have an impact on me, because I'm not that person.
Speaker A:I'm a person that follows through.
Speaker A:Like, if we have a podcast time, I'm here.
Speaker A:I'm not, like, calling up and saying, hey, I'll be there in three hours.
Speaker A:I know my butts in the seat.
Speaker A:I'm going to be doing the thing.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:But we do need to take it further in clarification.
Speaker A:Just because someone says something doesn't mean that they even heard you.
Speaker A:That's why, like, you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I need you to hear this and that.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, I hear you.
Speaker A:I understand what you.
Speaker A:You're saying, but then you don't know that they understand.
Speaker B:Tell me what you just said and how you're going to be here tomorrow at, you know, such and such a time.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So what is it that you're agreeing to?
Speaker B:Great.
Speaker B:Oh, I love that.
Speaker B:I love that, too.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, this is great.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Because again, you're.
Speaker A:You look at time as.
Speaker A:It's valuable, and you deal with people that, you know, are very successful people.
Speaker A:So their time is valuable.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:But so is your time.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So when you commit to a time, you follow through on that.
Speaker A:But like I said, if you were influenced by multigenerational alcoholism or some other form of addiction, it may not, you know, it may be easier to say, yes, I'll do that, but not follow through on that.
Speaker A:Because there's a wound.
Speaker A:And the disconnect is that experience took place to them.
Speaker B:What's interesting is that someone that does do that repetitively, they've got to encounter some pain when they don't follow through.
Speaker B:And, like, at what point?
Speaker A:Well, yes, because, again, you know, what people are striving for is unconditional love.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So when people have bad behavior, can you love them or can you only love them in their good behavior?
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:I'm working on that.
Speaker A:So when you're dealing with that kind of dysfunctional wound.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's what's playing out.
Speaker B:Is it that they're trying.
Speaker B:Is it that they want to prove that you love them?
Speaker A:Well, no, they're.
Speaker A:It's all unconscious.
Speaker A:They don't Even know how to love them.
Speaker B:Okay, right, right, right.
Speaker A:And they have the fantasy of love, like, for sure.
Speaker A:Fantasy loves easy.
Speaker B:Yes, yes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:Oh, I love you.
Speaker A:Well, okay.
Speaker A:Do you love you?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Oh, no, you don't love you, but you love me.
Speaker A:Okay, so you don't really love me because you haven't.
Speaker A:You don't have a foundation of loving you.
Speaker B:Right, right, right, right.
Speaker A:So if you have a foundation of loving you.
Speaker A:If my foundation is in love me.
Speaker A:So I'm going to boundary off unhealthy behavior.
Speaker A:That's what I'm going to do.
Speaker A:I'm not going to personalize.
Speaker A:I'm going to boundary it off and I'm going to be a clear communicator, and I'm going to put that in my brain and I'm going to share with people, you know, where I'm at within the family dynamics.
Speaker B:Strength.
Speaker A:I'm going to share overwhelm and overload.
Speaker A:I'm going to empower others to do more.
Speaker A:I taught someone the other day, I said, she works two jobs, and then she said, I'll be home Saturday.
Speaker A:I'm going to do all the laundry and all this other stuff.
Speaker A:And she has three grown kids.
Speaker A:And I said, well, what are your kids doing?
Speaker A:Well, nothing.
Speaker A:And I said, okay, when you got home, you're going to teach them how you do the laundry.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:You're going to teach them how to wash dishes.
Speaker A:And even if it takes a couple of weeks to give them these skills, then what you're going to find is you're going to put that off on them and you're going to take that load off you.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Because we can all change those around us.
Speaker A:We can get more out of them.
Speaker A:I feel the best way to get more out of people is validation as opposed to criticism.
Speaker A:So if you want more, makes me feel special when you do this for me.
Speaker A:And that's what I love about you.
Speaker A:I love that you want to step up and ease my load.
Speaker A:I love that you want to help carry some of these burdens.
Speaker A:I love that you recognize when I'm overwhelmed and exhausted.
Speaker A:I love that you want to step up and ease my life in so many ways.
Speaker A:If we come at people that way, you get way more.
Speaker A:If you come at them through a fear, through a criticism, you get way less.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That was amazing.
Speaker B:We'll be right back.
Speaker A:This episode of the Adjusting youg Life.
Speaker B:Podcast is brought to you by Ward, chiropractic.
Speaker B:For over 30 years, Dr. Steve Ward.
Speaker A:Has been helping People get to the.
Speaker B:Root cause of their pain.
Speaker B:He's a second generation chiropractor who looks.
Speaker A:At the whole spine, not just the sore spot.
Speaker A:With standing and seated full spine X rays, Dr. Steve finds what most doctors miss.
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Speaker B:Welcome back.
Speaker B:We're going to talk about breaking the loop tools for resetting stress responses.
Speaker B:So, Dr. Steve, something my daughter says is the fantasy is easier than the reality.
Speaker B:And I think I find that interesting.
Speaker B:Well, it's very true.
Speaker B:And it's probably why people tend to keep going in the fantasy of things and not really taking a break to, to look at actually what's happening.
Speaker B:And so let's talk about how someone can reset and, and not be in that, that fantasy phase of things in a relationship.
Speaker A:Well, I think it's important when we look at fantasy in a relationship that we give some parameters to it.
Speaker A:So when I'm talking about fantasy and relationship, I'm talking about I have wounds inside of me that maybe have been repaired, maybe they haven't been repaired.
Speaker A:And then I'm attracting someone into my life who has wounds inside of them that maybe they've been repaired, maybe they haven't been repaired.
Speaker A:But in most cases, two wounded people are attracting each other and then the fantasy is the people that never received what you want to get from them are going to know how to give it to you.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So, so when I see fantasy, I just see it that way.
Speaker A:It's just this belief that wounded people who have not repaired their wounds are going to then meet the needs of someone else who's wounded and repair those wounds for them.
Speaker A:And that's where so many relationships just fail.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Because one, the basic rule is don't bring your prior wound into your relationship.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Like, like you can have wounds, but it's not really the person you attracts responsibility to resolve those wounds for you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It's the reoccurring program of what people think.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:But the truth is, you know, people wake up one day, I hate my husband, whatever.
Speaker A:But they also hated their father.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So, so are they addressing their hate for their husband from the wound that occurred with their father?
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Are they resetting?
Speaker A:Are they shifting?
Speaker A:Are they learning how to communicate even with a wounded person?
Speaker A:Because if you say to a wounded person they're wrong, you're probably going to get a reaction.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Not a response.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But if you, if you say to a wounded person, you come at them from a different space, you know, like, hey, I have wounds inside of me, and these wounds have occurred from very early on in my life.
Speaker A:And, and, you know, there's part of me that has, from one relationship to another, wanting to make the responsibility the person who is attracted to my life, and that's just not acceptable at all.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Your, your.
Speaker A:The relationships is failing before you even give it an opportunity to have any success.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so, and that's where I see most people in relationships.
Speaker A:There's obviously people who are very evolved and aware, and they're aware of emotional intelligence, and, and they bring.
Speaker A:They incorporate that in, and they're like sponges.
Speaker A:And when they hear useful information, they can't wait to go into their family dynamic and, and try it out.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:But a lot of people are wounded.
Speaker A:So I tell people, stay out of fantasy.
Speaker A:Realize you're in a fantasy phase.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:In a fantasy phase, both parties are trying hard to meet each other's needs.
Speaker A:They're trying to show them what they think that person wants to see, but maybe not really is what's real.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Let me show you what I am, but that's not really who I am, or I'm.
Speaker B:I'm trying to show you who I think you want me to be, which is.
Speaker B:Is stressful, actually.
Speaker B:And what's interesting is in a previous relationship, I decided that I was going to try to be as authentic as possible.
Speaker B:So one of those things is, you know, I wasn't going to say, like, I go to the gym when I don't really go to the gym.
Speaker B:I mean, I didn't want that pressure.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I wasn't leading with that.
Speaker B:If it wasn't important for someone, you know, that was something that they wanted was someone that was, you know, at the gym three or four times a week.
Speaker B:And then the other thing is that I tend to leave stuff on the floor.
Speaker B:Makeup, clothes, shoes.
Speaker B:And I remember in previous relationships, I would clean up and have everything put away.
Speaker B:And then inevitably, months into the relationship, someone would come over and be like, wait, what is this?
Speaker B:And so in the last one that I had, I just decided, I'm just going to be myself.
Speaker B:And was what was actually beautiful about this part of of it was that he saw the, you know, I'm really clean, but a messy.
Speaker B:And he saw the messy part of me up front, so I didn't have to, like, try to hurry up and, you know, clean it up before he came over.
Speaker B:Because inevitably what happens is it is part of who I am and I do leave stuff on the floor and then I clean it all up and then it ends up on the floor.
Speaker B:So I'm.
Speaker B:It's a lot of work when you're trying to be someone you're not.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah, it was.
Speaker A:That's why they call it a fantasy face.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Because it's hard to sustain it over a long period.
Speaker B:Well, you can't.
Speaker B:It's impossible because inevitably you are who you are.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker A:Well, you are what you've inherited, and from that experience, you choose to be what you are.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:But again, most people.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Are what the inheritance is.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Which they're not really who they are who they were created to be.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So we could actually expand on that.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So what?
Speaker B:So maybe one of the reasons that I am.
Speaker B:That I have stuff on the floor is.
Speaker B:Is I think growing up in.
Speaker B:And feeling, you know, there were a lot of us and.
Speaker B:And that we didn't have a lot growing up is.
Speaker B:Is almost like maybe the stuff on the floor is.
Speaker B:Makes me feel comfortable when it's on the floor.
Speaker B:As if there is more than enough.
Speaker A:Maybe.
Speaker B:And that's maybe why I'm.
Speaker B:I'm having.
Speaker B:And then maybe when I put it away, somehow that somehow it's.
Speaker B:There's something.
Speaker B:Yeah, there's definitely something in that.
Speaker B:For sure.
Speaker B:I think in my programming, for sure.
Speaker B:I think for me, in terms of like, that fantasy, part of it was actually interesting because he would just like, step over it.
Speaker B:It didn't actually bother him.
Speaker B:And I didn't have to pretend that I'm not messy, but I.
Speaker B:But digging in deeper, actually, probably the reason that I am is maybe it's.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:There's an emotional component of having it around me.
Speaker A:And maybe, yeah, from my opinion, it comes from what you didn't receive.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So because there's a lot of things in your childhood that you did not receive that you wanted to receive, but you didn't receive for sure.
Speaker A:You know, you wanted both parents to be present.
Speaker A:You wanted healthy communication between the parents.
Speaker A:You wanted to be able to express yourself honestly.
Speaker A:You wanted to feel loved by your father, loved by your mother.
Speaker A:You wanted to feel important in those relationships.
Speaker B:I wanted to feel.
Speaker B:I wanted to feel as an individual and that I was separate from all of my siblings.
Speaker B:And that was a hard task, I think, for my parents, because there were so many of us.
Speaker B:I didn't.
Speaker B:I didn't really feel like an individual.
Speaker B:Like, you know, like, do my parents know if I had a favorite color or if I.
Speaker B:If there was something that I didn't like to eat?
Speaker B:Because it was more like we just all had to eat the same thing.
Speaker B:And it was.
Speaker B:There was no differentiating between us.
Speaker B:And I think maybe that's where.
Speaker B:Yeah, maybe the messy, messy part of my life comes from.
Speaker B:Is.
Speaker A:Well, and that's just about hoarding.
Speaker A:You know, like, when we see people that hoard, well, they hoard because what they didn't receive.
Speaker A:So then whatever they have and whatever emotional connection they've made towards something they have.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:Is hard for them to let it go because of what the love or the encouragement or validation or approval or whatever they needed that they didn't receive.
Speaker A:So, you know, there's comfort in that, in that busyness.
Speaker A:You also have such an active mind.
Speaker A:You know, your brain is.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:It's so quick and active, and I think on some level, that eases some stress for you.
Speaker B:No, it does, actually, because it's almost like when it's all put away, I'm stuck with myself and my thoughts, and maybe that's something that I've gotten more comfortable in the past few years about being on my own and in my own thoughts.
Speaker B:But definitely, that's probably.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Part of it.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But then the.
Speaker A:Then the aspect of it is.
Speaker A:Is that you love yourself, even in the mess around you.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And I would like my daughter to love me, too.
Speaker A:Yeah, well, she does.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And you love yourself in the dynamic of things are.
Speaker A:Have order around you.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:But I don't.
Speaker B:I don't love myself more, I don't think maybe.
Speaker A:Well, it's not an issue of.
Speaker A:I'm not trying to convey that.
Speaker A:It's an issue of loving yourself in it and loving yourself out of it.
Speaker A:So you're neutral within your love for you.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Which is the key element.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And then in them realizing, well, you know, there's some comfort for me when I have things that are a little cluttered around me.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:But it's also rewarding to know that in literally five minutes, I can take all the clutter around me and I can release it.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And then I can go into my other.
Speaker B:My ocdness, and I can go through that, which Is another definite.
Speaker B:What is that?
Speaker B:What do you think that comes from?
Speaker A:Well, you know, when we look at those issues, one, there's a lot of heavy denial in your family as a whole, because most all of you are in this backward curvature pattern, which, you know, it's about denying you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Because when the spine goes backward, who are you withdrawing from?
Speaker A:You're withdrawing from yourself.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And so you're seeing your life through the eyes of some other inherited dysfunction.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So when we just look at that like dementia.
Speaker A:Well, you see backward curve in dementia.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Well, so what are they doing?
Speaker A:Well, they withdraw.
Speaker A:They withdrew from themselves.
Speaker A:Well, what did they not get?
Speaker A:They didn't get the love they needed when they were young.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And then they learned how to numb their feelings, found different ways to deny their hurt.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Which is what the backward curve is about.
Speaker A:When we.
Speaker A:When we see commonly the most obsessive compulsive cases, we see them more frequently in left curvature because they can just be so in their logic mind.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But we can see it in other.
Speaker A:Other patterns as well.
Speaker A:But when we see really severe left, we see a logic pattern.
Speaker A:We see a person who is more seeing their life through that whatever those behaviors are.
Speaker A:I mean, if you're a woman in your left curve, and it's 7 millimeters left, that deals with a male parent addiction, if it's a 17 left, 1.7cm left, that deals with a male parent who has an addiction and he becomes mentally punishing, if it deals with, you know, a 27 left, that deals with all this hostility that comes out of the person who drinks, you know, so, but if you're a woman and you're in all left curve, then who are you not?
Speaker A:You're not in your own right being.
Speaker A:You're in this inherited view of you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And then what is it setting up and setting up more of that opportunity to reside in masculinity.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:But I think with you, I've seen so much growth, and I've seen how your spinal pattern has shifted and really.
Speaker A:And I'm sure it's really shifted even since then because your growth seems to just be exponential.
Speaker A:And so that's the beauty, right, is that within the science, we can identify a pattern, and then we can take a new set of films and we can see if that pattern changed or did it stay the same or did it dramatically change.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And because if we take images and then we take a new set and no change, well, then all the wisdom I gave you did nothing for you.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Which we're going to do my third set of X rays probably actually on our.
Speaker B:We're going to take a little bit of a break.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:Yeah, third set.
Speaker A:It's coming.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And then we'll look at.
Speaker A:And that's going to be a beautiful change.
Speaker A:You made some big edits within yourself during this time.
Speaker A:Dramatic.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:So I'm so excited.
Speaker A:I love getting the new sets of films because you get to see.
Speaker A:Oh, you got it.
Speaker A:You didn't get it.
Speaker A:Oh, you got all that, but you didn't get this.
Speaker A:All these numbers change, but this one measurement didn't change.
Speaker A:And then that's going to tell us.
Speaker A:Well, this is the one issue that you didn't resolve.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Well.
Speaker B:And we're going to do so season two.
Speaker B:We're going to compare like 1 and 2 and 2 and 3 and really show people.
Speaker A:You're saying you're.
Speaker A:We're going to look at like your, your four sisters and.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And then your brothers and.
Speaker B:And also my, my first X ray.
Speaker B:My second X ray second.
Speaker A:And your sisters first and second.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And you know, we, we can show how the body changes.
Speaker A:Keep in mind you've hardly had any treatment.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:Just adjustments here and there.
Speaker B:Actually, it's been more.
Speaker A:And, and I've had people that, they came in for a profile.
Speaker A:I made them their cd.
Speaker A:They had virtually no treatment.
Speaker A:Six months, eight months, a year later, they come back, want a new set of images.
Speaker A:And then we go in and we take them and the whole spine is transformed because of what they changed how they see themselves.
Speaker A:They change how they see their life.
Speaker A:They're more aware in their life and they're recognizing the wound around them.
Speaker A:And, and like I see wound around me so fast and so often now, I don't even bite on it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Where it's, you know, it's a journey.
Speaker B:To learn for sure.
Speaker A:Like, when do you bite?
Speaker A:When do you not?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Is it every situation a reason to bite?
Speaker A:Is it a reason to become emotional or become reactive or, or bring up a point?
Speaker A:And I was.
Speaker A:Identify it this way.
Speaker A:Are you open to grow?
Speaker A:Are you open to learn?
Speaker A:Are you open to gain awareness?
Speaker A:Are you open to make edits?
Speaker A:You know, can you hear what someone's saying and, and just be open to hear it, because if the answers are no to those questions, why would I spend a lot of time navigating in that way, wound with that person?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:We're not here to give unsolicited advice to people.
Speaker B:We're, we're really wanting to, to share wisdom for people that are interested in making changes in their life.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:Yeah, and, and, you know, just.
Speaker B:Yeah, we want to help as many people as possible.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:Well, that's what you've been doing separate from me and what I've been doing.
Speaker A:And then we combined and we're doing it on a higher scale and I love it.
Speaker A:And I think that you're the perfect person to assist me with this project.
Speaker A:And I just love the fact that you're open and that you're growing and that you're evolving and that you even want to take another set of X rays.
Speaker B:Wow, that was really amazing.
Speaker B:There's so much good information in that episode.
Speaker B:Episode.
Speaker B:I know our audience is going to enjoy it and I'm really looking forward to season two.
Speaker B:Thank you for joining us on today's episode of the Adjusting your Life podcast.
Speaker B:To view our show notes, please Visit us at adjustingyourlifepodcast.com and we are so excited to record season two.
Speaker B:Please keep an eye out on all our socials for when season two will launch and we will see you soon.
Speaker A:This is a broadcast of the Adjusting youg Life podcast produced by Adjusted Life Media.
Speaker A:All information contained in this episode and all other content provided on this channel is for informational and entertainment purposes only.
Speaker A:This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Speaker A:If you or someone you know is experiencing a medical emergency, please contact your local emergency services.
Speaker A:Dr. Stephen M. Ward, D.C. is a board certified doctor of chiropractic medicine licensed in the State of California, county of Los Angeles.
Speaker A:The Adjusting youg Life Podcast is written and produced by Executive Producer Jamie Knapp and co produced by Kennedy hall and Dr. Steven Ward as Dr. Steve.
Speaker A:For more information or to connect with us, visit adjustingyourlifepodcast.com.
